Band Aid to a Broken Heart

I am blessed beyond what I shall ever deserve. I have a beautiful family, a wonderful church, a job doing something that I love, and the list could go on forever. However, today I want to focus on just one of the many blessings I have in my life, my daughter Lauren. I am devoting this week's post to her and her 1st birthday Friday. She is a band aid on a broken heart.

Back in 2008 when our oldest daughter, Morgan, was born, we were not sure if we wanted to be done having children. Along with our son, Keith, two children were a blessing in and of themselves. Our family was growing, but was it time to stop? My wife and I pondered and prayed about this for a long time. Finally we decided that one more might be a good finish if the Lord was willing to grant us that. I remember the day that my wife found out that she was expecting our third child. We were so happy and excited about the newest member of our family. We even went as far as to pick out names that very night.

Then, a few days later, a tragedy occurred. My wife was in the process of a miscarriage. It was the first time she had lost a child. There are no words to describe the pain that my wife and I felt. We were so happy about another child, that we had not entertained the thought of losing one. We were devastated. My wife and I prayed for comfort and peace. Was this a test of our faith? A couple of verses came to mind.

Romans 8:28
" And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:37-39
"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So we made it up in our minds that we would glorify God no matter the circumstances. We gave our sorrows over to Him, and trusted in Him that He would see us through.

Philippians 4:13
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

We cast our cares upon the Lord about our suffering and the question as to was our family complete. And several months later, we had what we believed to be an answer to prayer. Jenny was expecting again. We were so elated at the thought, however, more cautious after what happened with the last pregnancy. Still, it was hard to suppress the excitement. Was this to be our reward for being faithful to God through a great tragedy? Then the news came. We lost this child too. Our hearts were broken. Our spirit was greatly weakened by this next loss. Was it meant for us to even have another child? Why was this happening again? The depression was so much greater this time. Two miscarriages within one year. My wife blamed herself, and I prayed for forgiveness thinking this may be some form of discipline from the Lord. But we still prayed. We gave this to the Lord as well. Every time that we faced this loss again, we prayed for comfort from our Lord.

Psalm 73:28
"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works."

I was amazed at the chance that these situations gave us to witness to others. Many that I come into contact with were amazed at how at peace we were. They were amazed that we were not angry at God and turn away from our faith. Did we want to try again? Were we afraid of what would happen if we lost another one? What would we do? Around Christmas of 2010, my wife began to be sick. Not sure of what was going on I took her to the doctor. She was pregnant. This one was unplanned. We were not trying to get pregnant again. But, here it was. Fear struck us when some of the tests performed were not so good. We were at the point of extreme despair. We cried all night that night while we waited for the last test results to come in. I remember the chills I felt when the phone rang.

In May, my beautiful daughter Lauren was born. Words cannot describe what this blessing has been to us. Our hearts were broken at the loss of two babies that we will never see on this earth. But, God provided us with a band aid for our broken hearts in the angel that was born almost a year ago today. Not a day goes by that I do not praise God for blessing me beyond what I deserve. Was this a reward for our faithfulness through our time of suffering? I don't know. It sure feels like it though. Watching her grow has been a heart warming experience. Her first tooth, watching her crawl, her first steps on her own, and the first time she called me Da Da, burn in my mind.

I will do everything in my power to be the best Dad I can be to Lauren. I will never forget what she is to my wife and I. And I will never forget to give God the glory, honor and praise for sending her to us.

Lauren, for all that you are now at this age, for all that I hope you to become, know that your Daddy will love and cherish you always.

Happy Birthday.

Thanks for reading, and God bless you all this week!