Band Aid to a Broken Heart

I am blessed beyond what I shall ever deserve. I have a beautiful family, a wonderful church, a job doing something that I love, and the list could go on forever. However, today I want to focus on just one of the many blessings I have in my life, my daughter Lauren. I am devoting this week's post to her and her 1st birthday Friday. She is a band aid on a broken heart.

Back in 2008 when our oldest daughter, Morgan, was born, we were not sure if we wanted to be done having children. Along with our son, Keith, two children were a blessing in and of themselves. Our family was growing, but was it time to stop? My wife and I pondered and prayed about this for a long time. Finally we decided that one more might be a good finish if the Lord was willing to grant us that. I remember the day that my wife found out that she was expecting our third child. We were so happy and excited about the newest member of our family. We even went as far as to pick out names that very night.

Then, a few days later, a tragedy occurred. My wife was in the process of a miscarriage. It was the first time she had lost a child. There are no words to describe the pain that my wife and I felt. We were so happy about another child, that we had not entertained the thought of losing one. We were devastated. My wife and I prayed for comfort and peace. Was this a test of our faith? A couple of verses came to mind.

Romans 8:28
" And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:37-39
"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So we made it up in our minds that we would glorify God no matter the circumstances. We gave our sorrows over to Him, and trusted in Him that He would see us through.

Philippians 4:13
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

We cast our cares upon the Lord about our suffering and the question as to was our family complete. And several months later, we had what we believed to be an answer to prayer. Jenny was expecting again. We were so elated at the thought, however, more cautious after what happened with the last pregnancy. Still, it was hard to suppress the excitement. Was this to be our reward for being faithful to God through a great tragedy? Then the news came. We lost this child too. Our hearts were broken. Our spirit was greatly weakened by this next loss. Was it meant for us to even have another child? Why was this happening again? The depression was so much greater this time. Two miscarriages within one year. My wife blamed herself, and I prayed for forgiveness thinking this may be some form of discipline from the Lord. But we still prayed. We gave this to the Lord as well. Every time that we faced this loss again, we prayed for comfort from our Lord.

Psalm 73:28
"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works."

I was amazed at the chance that these situations gave us to witness to others. Many that I come into contact with were amazed at how at peace we were. They were amazed that we were not angry at God and turn away from our faith. Did we want to try again? Were we afraid of what would happen if we lost another one? What would we do? Around Christmas of 2010, my wife began to be sick. Not sure of what was going on I took her to the doctor. She was pregnant. This one was unplanned. We were not trying to get pregnant again. But, here it was. Fear struck us when some of the tests performed were not so good. We were at the point of extreme despair. We cried all night that night while we waited for the last test results to come in. I remember the chills I felt when the phone rang.

In May, my beautiful daughter Lauren was born. Words cannot describe what this blessing has been to us. Our hearts were broken at the loss of two babies that we will never see on this earth. But, God provided us with a band aid for our broken hearts in the angel that was born almost a year ago today. Not a day goes by that I do not praise God for blessing me beyond what I deserve. Was this a reward for our faithfulness through our time of suffering? I don't know. It sure feels like it though. Watching her grow has been a heart warming experience. Her first tooth, watching her crawl, her first steps on her own, and the first time she called me Da Da, burn in my mind.

I will do everything in my power to be the best Dad I can be to Lauren. I will never forget what she is to my wife and I. And I will never forget to give God the glory, honor and praise for sending her to us.

Lauren, for all that you are now at this age, for all that I hope you to become, know that your Daddy will love and cherish you always.

Happy Birthday.

Thanks for reading, and God bless you all this week!

Showing God's Love in Bad Situations

This week, so far, has probably been the hardest for me as a believer. I have always been one to look for God in all things good and bad. I have counseled many people on dealing with trials. And I finally felt that I was at the point of full reliance on God in every situation. I felt that I had obtained an understanding of true love for people of this earth. Whether they were a brother or sister in Christ, or a lost person, I have tried to deal with them in understanding of the big picture of things. But, in this, God showed me that I still have a lot of work to do.

Two days ago my wife, Jennifer, was involved in a bad automobile accident. She had spent the day with a good friend from the church. She had our three year old daughter, and our 11 month old daughter with her. On the way home, someone had crossed the yellow line in a curve. My wife swerved to miss the car, and ended up up-side down in a ditch full of water. My two little girls hung up-side down in their car-seats in the back of the vehicle. The man that ran them off the road fled the scene. My wife was in an area with barely any cell reception, and is not sure how long it was before someone saw the car in the ditch, and stopped to help. Thank God, they were okay. My two little ones did not have a scratch on them, and my wife has no cuts, scratches, or broken bones, but is pretty banged up. I am just so thankful that I was able to put them in my van and drive them all home from the hospital in relative good shape that evening.

The problem in this was my feelings toward the man that ran them off the road and did not stop. I felt feelings of anger and disdain for him. Why did he flee? Why did he leave my wife and daughters in that situation without even checking on them. I had a lot of bad things to say about that individual while I was at the scene trying to console my wife and take care of my girls. Thoughts come to my mind as to what I would do if I found out who he was. This is where I fell. I let my anger for this person to cause me to fall into sin.

Here are a few verses that come to mind when I came to the realization of my sin.

Matthew 7:12
"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Luke 6:27-33
"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same."

You know, it seems pointless to let anger and hate come into your life for someone that you do not even know. Will I ever know who was responsible? Probably not. Have I forgiven him? Yes, although I have to remind myself to do so every time I see my wife in pain, or look at the wrecked vehicle. But what other alternative do I have but to forgive him. Doesn't Christ forgive me daily for my sins? He died because of mine. So what right do I have not to forgive when, as bad as it was, the outcome was minor compared to what Christ suffered? I do not know what was/is going on with that person right now, but I pray for him too when I pray for my wife.

So what have I learned from this awful account? I have learned to cherish the time I have with my loved ones. Because the fact that they can be taken away at a moments notice has become very real to me. I have learned a hard lesson about forgiving and praying for those who hurt me, whether I feel that they deserve it or not. I have learned also, that there is far more for me to learn about God's grace, love and mercy.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless you all this week!